The Guillo

Guillo's Blog

Saturday, September 04, 2004

I love table dance!!!!!!!!

Si algo realmente hace que me sienta cómodo cualquier día de la semana es difinitabamente el CONGAL, si ese lugar de “perdición y corrupción” , pero una cosa si les digo mis pequeños niños: el que llega ahí ya esta perdido y corrompido, nadie se hace... se nace, snif!!!
Así es.... No hay nada mejor que una cerveza bien fría, luces bajas rayando en la oscuridad, música suave, relajante y una hermosa mujer bailando semi-desnuda para ti, eso es vida pequeños niños... VIDA!!!!! Es cerveza fría en tus manos... que quiere ser consumida por ti pero a lapsos largos de tiempo, escuchando música que en ningún lado del mundo vas a escuchar excepto en tu casa (solo y perreado). Esa tonalidad de luz que te permite solo ver lo que te interesa... así es!!!! a esa hermosa mujer que mueve sus caderas para ti, que deja su busto al descubierto para tocarlos y sentirlos en tu cara, su hermoso perfume que solo las putas usan, tan rico, suave y seductor (si pagaría por sexo con es perfume) y su hermosa cara de niñas disfrutanto del sexo.... si!!!!! Definitivamente, lo digo y lo defiendo: no hay mejor lugar... que el conga!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 02, 2004

If Microsoft Made Cars

1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be
available until after that year - instead of before
it.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road,
you'd have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would just die for no
reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange
reason, you'd just accept this.
1. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would
cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd
have to re-install the engine. For some strange
reason, you'd just accept this, too.
2. But that wouldn't work, you'd have to take
the engine out, do nothing to it, then put it back in.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a
time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But
then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. Sun Motor Systems would make a car that was
powered by the sun, twice as reliable, and five times
as fast - but it would only run on five percent of the
roads.
6. The oil, engine, fuel and alternator warning
lights would be replaced with a single "General Car
Fault" warning light.
7. People would get excited about the "new"
features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that
they had been available in other cars for many years.
8. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft fuel.
9. The U.S. government would be getting subsidies
from an auto maker instead of giving them.
10. New seats would force everyone to have the same
size butt.
11. The air bag system would say "Are you sure?"
before going off.
12. The steering wheel would be replaced with a
mouse and you'd need to memorize the keyboard
short-cut for "brake".
13. For some reason the engine controller would need
a 1G hard disk and would take 5 minutes to boot up.
14. They wouldn't build their own engines but form a
cartel with their engine supplier. The latest engine
would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection
and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so
you could use Model-T Ford parts on it. There would be
an "Engine Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be
slower on most existing roads.
15. Your car would refuse to start with a message
"Abort, Retry, Fail or Cancel?"
16. You would have to have a full service every 500
miles.
17. The speedometer would read 70 even though you
are only doing 50.
18. They would make a flashy convertible model,
where if you raised the top the engine would overheat.
19. The entire engine wouldn't be in the bay at
once, and the car would have to keep stopping and
starting to load in the relevant parts.
20. Every time you carried a new passenger you would
have to alter the cars configuration settings. When
the passenger alights these configurations would
remain in place.

Ok, ok... ya se que me lo fusile, pero algo tengo que poner.....

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